What is a “good death” to you?
I recently watched a wonderful documentary called Saying Goodbye: Preparing for Death directed by Johanna Lunn at https://whenyoudie.org/death-film/, and I was deeply moved by the insights, stories, and wisdom around death and dying that was shared.
I'll give you one take-away for today, but I recommend watching these films yourself because there's so much GOLD that I can't possibly cover in a newsletter.
Okay, here's my take-away:
People who stop to think (and talk!) about what a “good death” means to them are more likely to have one, regardless of where they are on the journey of life.
A good death could be being surrounded by loved-ones at the family cottage, over looking the lake.
A good death could be one last joy ride on the motorcycle with your son, and sitting in your favourite chair with a beer.
A good death could be having soothing, beautiful music sung to you while you cuddle up to your daughter and your cat.
Over 90% of us will know before we die that it's going to happen in the next while, usually because of a terminal illness diagnosis.
And over 50% of people in Canada die in hospital.
I don't know about you, but I'd rather not die in hospital where the aim of care is to maintain life at all costs (often), and where nursing staff are doing their best, but busy with a demanding work load.
If I do die in hospital, I don't doubt it can still be a good death… but it's not my preference.
I'd rather sit for a minute, and ponder what a good death might look like for me… with the intention that I'll be more likely to actually experience it one day.
I'll share with you my vision in just a moment, but first…
I recently joined the Toronto Threshold Singers which is a volunteer singing group who sing beautiful, quiet music to people at the thresholds of life - often illness or death, to bring comfort and peace.
The songs are more like blessings, and not performative.
To me they are a bridge from the physical to the etheric world, with the intention of helping souls cross over without fear.
It is such a privilege to sing to people at this stage of the journey because it makes me realize how fragile and precious life is.
Are you still wondering what a good death means to me, for me?
So far, it's being at home, bed by a window (hopefully when I'm in my 90's and in some beautiful country home), beautiful mantra music playing in the background 24/7 so help my soul labour out with ease and joy, surrounded by my family and pets, smelling fresh flowers, and a taste of hot chocolate in my mouth.
Hopefully I can be visited by the Threshold Singers at some point too, to receive the gorgeous music to sooth me and my family.
I encourage you to think about what a good death means to you, and let me know!
I'd love to hear your picture! And if you're okay with it, I'll add it to the next blog post (no name attached unless you tell me), so we can share our hopes and dreams for one of the most sacred and powerful healing moments of life.
If you like conversations like this, allow me to share with you two upcoming Death Cafés in Toronto which you can come to:
The first is being held by my colleague, Nadine, on June 27, 6-8pm, at the Reference Library Branch (in Toronto).
Here is the link to that Death Cafe.
https://deathcafe.com/deathcafe/19662/
I'll be hosting my 2nd Death Café on Wednesday September 11, 2024 from 6 - 8 pm at the Kind Human Club again (Bloor & Landsdowne).
You can find out more info here.
I hope to see you there! RSVP in the link.
There are also other Death Cafés held around the world, and online which you can find out more about here.
Have a beautiful day!
